I've Got Money

When Mark Twain lumped us all together
With his famous remark about the weather
Saying everyone talks a lot about it
But no one does anything about it - he was right!
But it just the opposite with the only thing better than credit
This song is about money.

Now I'm not the one to apologize
For who I am or to laugh at the prize
I've listened to the old and the wise
And now I thoroughly realize
That the nicest thing about being my age
Is the crudest word in the English language.

I can be a bore, hollow out for more
Bellow with a roar, make a hostess sore
I can slam a door, or even start a war
Cause I've got money. 

I can come in late, fail to keep a date
Question any rate, even challenge fate
I can make the gate while others stand and wait
Cause I've got money.

Whether I walk in to have a snack
Or decide on next year's Cadillac
Clerks gather 'round, managers come out
Bow and scrape and make me want to scream and shout.

I can justify anything I buy
Though it horrify those who must comply
Brad Street won't deny the world is all my pie
Cause I've got money.

When I roll up in my silver cloud
To attend the season's opening night
Doormen are there to cordon the crowd
While yeas and cheers abound as I alight.

I have challenged time, always held the line
Making sure that I'm taking what is mine
The world may come and go but there's one thing I know
I've got money.